ouch

okay, im a huge baby. i hate needles, pain, shots, stitches, dentists and the real reason i havent given blood in years is not due to anemia...its due to my aversion to optional pain. not that un optional pain is better, but i dont go seeking opportunities to be hurt. its also the truth as to why when i was finally permitted to double pierce my ears like all the cool girls without a dad who had serious sense and insisted i had to wait until the responsible age of 18, i opted not to. i decided i would go with a far less painful piercing in my belly. i was such an idiot. so i have given blood and my wisdom teeth and birth and yet i am still a huge wimp. which brings me to the journey ive been on the last several months. after lifeguarding through college, fake baking through the early years post college and scuba diving for two years in hawaii, i have a few freckles i needed to get checked out. and while i knew i needed to do that, i just kept putting it off. until my mom strongly encouraged me to go (by calling, asking, and continually reminding me). so i made my appointment and drug myself to the dermatologist. i dont know what i was expecting as i sat there in my ripped jeans, t shirt, rocket dogs and hair in a pony tail, (i had brushed my teeth, i promise) but no sooner had i made myself as comfortable as you can be on a paper covered table in a sterile room than she walked in. fresh off the mediteranean, with stillettos, naturally tan perfect skin, gold dripping from every limb and lobe and a mane of perfectly black curly hair. now i felt like a pale (ive been very good about not seeking a tan anymore), freckly, average woman in need of extensions, a tan, some new stilettos and a medical degree. oh, and an accent. i really was like, how could she have time for being a doctor in addition to her modeling career? so no sooner had the vision begun than her sharp accent and direct way of speaking to her nurses brought me back to reality. as she pointed, studied and commented on all my freckles with the utmost of honesty with things like "oh, this come off, that come off and that one, too. too many colors on that one. very ugly. oh, yeah, this one is problem too. " i kept waiting for it to stop. for her to say, "nice to meet you. im sorry for all these little spots, but they wont hurt and you will be fine". what i got was "oh, you been very bad in the sun for long time. see you next week and the next. you have 10 that need to come off." TEN??? are you kidding me? i am far less concerned about skin cancer than i am about 10 incisions with 10 shots of numbing to each one. in a flash, miss greece 2005 exited the exam room and pale freckly me just continued to shift uncomfortably with the loud paper selling me out each time. anyway, that was in september and it has taken me until now to have 9 of the 10 removed with two shots each time because according to the doctor i apparently just "eat the numbing stuff right up". gobble gobble. i felt the first two incisions because they didnt really believe me when i said it hurt. she asked if it felt like pressure. i told her, no, it felt like someone was cutting a freckle out of my back with a knife. "another shot for her, please" and since then, i get two right away and i dont feel anything for at least 2 hours. i had my appointment today and am still in the numb phase except one of them is starting to throb and i was thinking of how long it has taken me to get all of these removed and how i only have one left and then i realized i havent had her check out my legs yet. ugh. i think im going to tell miss greece she can remove 2 more, so to choose very wisely which ones look most potentially cancerous. we'll see what she says. so, im a wimp. im in pain. and i will never be golden brown again. and when georgia asks why she has to be coated in large amounts of spf 60, i will refer her to this post.