i had a thought...once

i have found recently that i am at a loss for the time to have deep thoughts. sure, on occasion i will have something insightful cross my mind or spend a moment, just a moment pondering something i hear, see or think of, but by and large my days are consumed with a bliss of surface thoughts. i attempt to take a break from those surface thoughts during georgia's morning nap to spend some time with God and occasionally i am able to let go of whats on the top of my mind and let God reveal whats deep in my heart to me. but honestly, inspite of the daily appointment i have with Him, there are few times when i am able to quiet my inner thoughts to really hear what He is trying to tell me. so, this brings me to some thoughts ive been trying to get to in my mind for the past 3 days and havent had the time or the patience to go there. i recently had a brief conversation with a friend that i really need to come back to. to figure out what i really think and what i really believe. i made a remark about a recent presidential candidate and what i thought of his claim of being a christian. i said that i didnt think he could be a christian because he didnt believe in heaven (i heard him say this in an interview, and while he wasn't pressed on what he really believes, i made a quick judgment, err assumption). how could someone claim to be a christian and not believe in heaven, a place where the Bible speaks so vividly of? and yet as i make these hasty judgments from my living room with my Bible open waiting for God to give me a thought or an answer, i am reading a passage that in essence says to not let the small stuff divide you or allow you to judge one another. romans 14:1 says, "accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters". who am i really to determine or decide who is or isnt a believer? im not asked to do that and in fact i am clearly told not to. it is up to each of us to decide what are "disputable matters" and then choose to not pass judgment. part of me wants a big umbrella over "disputable matters" because it makes it easier to not share my faith, to keep my truths to myself and let that warm fuzzy feeling that allows all different beliefs to enter into eternal communion with God to take over. i have to decide what that really means to me. what are not just my "disputable matters" but God's? what is He really trying to tell me and am i listening to Him or do i have a filter in my own mind that prevents His voice from getting through? i really don't have the answers, but i feel Him encouraging me to go deeper with this thought, to ponder it, pray about it and search my own heart and His word to find the answers. surely, in the midst of my days filled to the brim with thoughts that rarely penetrate below the surface, this one is worth hanging onto. how can i ever be an effective tool to be used by Him and for His kingdom if i am not willing to learn what He is trying to teach me? and while i dont have it all figured out yet, i know without a doubt that He brought me to romans 14:1 to keep me thinking.