the other morning started out like any other average day in the sutherland house. pat was out the door early and peach had enjoyed blueberry awfuls as she calls them and i was on my third cup of the liquid bean checking email and chatting with a good friend back in the states. georgia disappeared momentarily to retrieve some toys from her room and returned within moments. i looked to see what her pleasure was today, the babies and blankies or maybe the new magnadoodle. you will have to use your wildest imagination to picture the look on my face when i saw that it wasnt the babies or the magnadoodle, but rather a red, lacy, lowcut, please seduce me shirt that resembled lingerie to my tired eyes half on her head and half on her little body. that didnt belong to me. right. oh. my. gawd. so here is where a few of you in denial with a strong sense of judgment and who know pat and i say to yourselves "oh, katie. please. its pat. dont be ridiculous. im sure there is a great explanation." to which i say, fine. let it happen to you, in your house with your child. add the fact you have just had a two month separation and the bag from which the above mentioned lingerie came from was waiting to go out with the days trash. i hang up with my friend and grab the shirt...must inspect size and condition.
because i do adore pat and know only my father to possess as much faith, character and integrity, i did not immediately throw his things over the balcony. but my heart was in my stomach as i tried to figure out every innocent scenario as to how this other womans shirt made its way into our apartment. mind you, if it was a marathon t shirt, i would have just assumed it got swapped at the gym, but this?? my mind was a blur with a million questions and answers so i decided i needed to bring in an expert. not on infidelity, but a best friend who loves pat almost as much as i do and yet is not related to either of us. i just couldnt imagine calling anyone from my family or from his for that matter. perfect. dial up suzy. i told her what had just happened and she got this nervous giggle. nervous like, "i cant believe this could actually happen and im afraid of what will happen next if it did".
fast forward through 62 minutes of therapeutic "what ifs" and "couldnt bes" and you get the idea. emotionally exhausted and tired of trying to wrap my brain around what my new potential reality was, i was ready to throw in the towel and just wait for pat to get home and explain it to me. im proud to say the only completely neurotic thing i did was put the meat i had thawing to cook for him back in the freezer. i decided against a home cooked meal made with love for that night. at about the 62 minute point in my free counseling session with suz she said, "katie, im just seeing visions of pat at last years squadron christmas party in a mrs. claus mini skirt riding a mechanical bull. do you think there could be anything work related that this scandalous shirt could be attributed to?" silence. light bulb shining as bright as the north star immediately over my head. THATS IT!!! yes, pat told me over a month ago he had to play in a drag football game for his squadron and was borrowing a friends wifes shirt. suzy, i love you. i love pat. i love the woman that owns this shirt. how generous of her to let such a lovely garment endure a football game. and a morning of dirty looks and speculation. i knew i had called the perfect person. the meat came back out of the freezer, the day became above average and pat and i had a really great laugh over dinner. mystery solved.
1 comment:
Just couldn't believe it. Say it ain't so. No matter what we said we both knew there was a truly ridiculous explanation and sure enough it was the annual, or quite possilby, quarterly squadron drag football game! Why did it take so long to put 2 and 2 together. Love ya Pat. Don't worry I was having a pretty hard time hanging you out to dry, but what are best friends for.
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