Tuesday, February 28, 2012


you know its bad when you go to check your blog and as you type the address into your browser, your computer doesn't even remember it. its simply been that long. and while the lapse in posts has been great, its not for a lack of countless thoughts, rants and otherwise meaningless inner dialogues ive had over the past several months. the truth is ive had a baby which is awe-some to the hundredth power, but with that awesomeness comes the greatest little joy giver and cutest little time stealer. ever. i am amazed at how quickly a free hour evaporates into a free minute and the list of crap that doesnt get done multiplies exponentially. im also marveling, sometimes in horror, at the amount of crap i do while breast feeding, but thats an entirely different post. such is the blessed season.

so what i really want to know is in the midst of your crazy, busy, amazingly blessed life, what outrages you? and even more importantly, what are you doing about it?

you see, ive had a zillion different parts of my days i feel like sharing. seriously. a zillion. but, then the next day happens, sleep deprivation takes over and i move on. but the one question that has been nagging at my inner dialogue and robbing me of comfort at my core is this one.

i know we live in a world where we are saturated with shocking stories and tragedies. where it is easy to grow desensitized and weary at its vastness, but i cant shake the feeling that we have been given this restlessness for a reason.

there are men without conscience who are buying and selling and robbing young girls and boys of their childhood and adulthood. there are children living in paralyzing fear across the world and across the street. boys and girls dying to be thin. or loved. or straight. the forgotten elderly, the neglected widows and orphans, the hungry child who carries hunger pains and hopes every minute of the day, longing and waiting for his stomach and soul to be filled. those courageously living under the immeasurable weight of oppression and depression, longing for someone. anyone. to simply share their burden and lighten their load. to notice.

the truth is, there isnt a shortage of completely outrageous and heartbreaking realities around us. and i dont pretend to know what outrages you, what causes your soul restlessness and prompts your heart to move, but i do know what outrages me and the truth is i am challenged to do more.

we have been called as a people to serve the broken, hurting and lonely. to take the blessings we have been sleeping in and under and living in and bless others. to stop hoarding our time and our money like its ours to keep and start throwing it at those who need it most in the name of the One who gave it to us in the first place. packaged nicely and neatly and given to us in a shower of health, finances, time and gifts.

we have been given so freakishly much and to keep it all to ourselves, only sharing with those we know and love seems crazy to me. and comfortable and easy and completely understandable. i am so shamefully guilty of this, of only giving when its convenient and easy. of resisting the stretch of my own finances and choosing to stay comfortable while others break and suffer under the weight of my selfishness. i think about how desperately i want to raise children who know His goodness and faithfulness, who live a life dependent on Him and in service to Him and yet, every time i choose to give 'comfortably', i rob them of the chance to see what living and giving sacrificially really looks like. how can i hope to raise selfless, compassionate, empathetic and generous kids if they never see us stretching ourselves and our finances, trusting in Him while we give generously in His name?

i am so thankful for a God who continues to beckon me to live boldly and generously to those He has placed on my heart, forgiving my past and giving me purpose in spite of my selfishness and human greed. i want to move toward living a life that outrageously changes the stories and tragedies of what outrages me. i want to answer the restlessness in my spirit with service, giving from what i have been so abundantly given.

this is a tall order, one i am sure to fail at time and time again, but to not aim for this, to not answer this clear call to my soul would be to deny id heard the call in the first place and that, im afraid, would be an outrage to the One who stirred my heart in the first place.

so, what outrages you? and more importantly, what are you doing about it?