styrofoam is weak

recently my sister and i were driving home on busy i-70 from an afternoon of much needed retail therapy when we stopped by my favorite fast food place, sonic, for some refreshment. sidenote, i am a sonic junkie and believe that God has been saving me from at least a solid 20 lbs of sonic weight by preventing me from living within 300 miles of one since i left home many years ago. ask anyone, i know their menu by heart and even a few items that arent mentioned on the menu like peanut butter as a sundae topping. its an insider secret that you heard here first...ask for it next time.

with our cherry limeades (i add vanilla to mine) in tow and a glass of water with the worlds best crushed ice safely in the hands of a thirsty peach we were ready to trek home enjoying the euphoria that only comes after a successful day of shopping. we were not very far in our journey when i heard gk mention "juice" from the back seat. yes, georgia, you do have juice...isnt it tasty? not realizing just how average water is because she has yet to experience the sugar surge from real juice, she says "yes" followed soon by "whoa". hmm. i better turn around. holy fazzoli...there is a waterfall in the back seat coming from the bottom of the styrofoam cup filled to the brim with water. yes, peach had punctured the cup with her ultra strong finger. nice.

with lightening quick mom reflexes i grab the cup and transfer the continual waterfall to the front seat and without thinking dump the cup out over the window praying the worlds tastiest ice and water now flying behind us dont hit the cars lucky enough to be trailling the worlds strongest child. thank goodness i didnt drop the cup...all id need is a littering ticket to make this fiasco better. the mess was cleaned as well as it could be with two kleenex and some old napkin in the glove box and we decided that maybe those crazy sippie cup people at avent were onto something...styrofoam is weak. plastic is not.

the circle

yes, the circle. im sure it sounds silly to most of you that this crew of crazies known as my 3 best buddies would be dubbed the circle of love by none other than ourselves and yet that is exactly what we did awhile back as we sat in a circle around a table sipping wine, sharing stories, smiles and a whole lot of love. love is the one thing we seem to have an endless well of for one another. and not just because we have been through over a decade of life, loss and learning together, but because we manage to come through all of it still hoping, still supporting and still laughing.

i am posting this from the living room of tricias house on day 2 of our annual reunion and im realizing that this trip has been in the making for over a year as we hyped up the 'year of the 30', the milestone that we would all celebrate together with vigor and excitement. and im thinking of what a year it has been for all of us. im reminded of how much we have lost and how much we have found. how we have done it all together inspite of the miles and countries between us.

we have lost weight, husbands, unrealistic expectations, parents, debt, homes, jobs, emotional baggage and guilt. we have found amazing love in new babies and pregnancies, renewed faith in marriages, hope in the future, peace in our indepence and comfort in God's plan for us. we are healthier, happier, and stronger than we knew and smarter than we thought. it has been a year of unspeakable grief and unfathomable joy and through it all, there has been a circle connected in prayer, in love and in spirit that has surrounded each of us, always present and always felt. it is a profound blessing to know these women, to share in their lives and experience all that our personal journeys entail. what a weekend. what a friendship. what a circle.

missing you

we spoke today and for the first time in a long time i felt like it was us. we had time without distractions (a precious and elusive thing) and the 14 hour time difference didnt derail our time together. i struggled to fit in every last detail from the significant (peach says lovebug and hungry now) to the mundane (my 7 inch bruise is almost gone) all the while trying to really hear you. i want to know everything and i know you must be tired of my never ending line of questioning. im sure you have probably figured out by now that it is simply my lame attempt to steal more of your time and make it ours.

its our time that i miss so desperately right now. the time that happens an hour after georgias asleep and the worries of your day are far enough behind you that you talk. and you laugh. and you begin to let me in. it is in those moments of conversation where our friendship is the strongest and i feel content and grateful for you, my best friend. its strange that i cant wait to talk to you and then am seemingly at a loss for words, somehow being robbed of all meaningful thoughts by the clock that keeps our calls brief. i hang up wondering if i really told you all that i had intended and more importantly if i heard all you had to share with me. i feel befuddled at best and just hope you know how much you are thought of and missed.

i am reminded daily of you in the way georgia lights up in the morning with her daddys eyes bright and optimistic. and in the evening when i put her down and we pray for you. that you know how much we love you, miss you and are proud to be yours. we are counting the wake ups until we see you again and thankful you are there ahead of us selflessly laying a strong foundation for our arrival. we will see you before you know it. until then, we are missing you.

coming home

i was driving back from a girls weekend in st. louis the other day and as it usually happens in the car, i was thinking a lot. the train of thought was long, windy and completely random as it usually is with me and my attention span that is so much like a fleas. but as i looked into my rear view mirror cruising down 1-70, i remembered the trip on this very same interstate that was leading me permanantly from my home in northern virginia with my parents to rural missouri. i spent most of that trip planning my escape and wondering how long it would take my parents to track me down once i had run away with their credit card and was living with friends back in virginia. it was hard moving in the middle of my junior year to a town that had less people than my high school miles away from a major city with a gravel parking lot full of pick up trucks, scary cowboy hats and people that had strangely known eachother since birth. and most were related to one of two families. there would be no blending into the crowd as there was no crowd. just a little town with no stop light in what i thought was the middle of nowhere. i was full of tears, doubt, concern and fear. who knew the path that God was carefully laying out before me step by step.

i have always thought of myself as a city girl. first of all it just sounds so much cooler than saying 'oh, yes, ive always wanted to live in the burbs' or 'yep, the country is just perfect for me. i love ticks.' having enjoyed the d.c. area for a number of years growing up and soaking up the sights, sounds and conveniences of a city, i have always had a love for it. after visiting friends in manhattan, my love for life in the city only grew.

and yet, as im cruising to my parents place on 100 acres 35 minutes outside of kansas city, im realizing how excited i feel about going home. and not just because there is a house full of love with people i adore. i mean, im really excited about the farm. i love the vast acreage, hearing georgia mooing at the cows and chasing the tails of the barn cats, the smell of the stable that holds countless memories for me, walking around the pond in the evening, watching the most amazing sunsets while sipping real sweet tea, hearing crickets, seeing stars, and breathing the cleanest air. to see the peach running out of energy before running out of room is priceless to me. i love it. all of it. and im realizing i am so not a city girl anymore. and i dont love ticks and i am irritated by mosquitos, but its a trade im willing to make to soak this place up. there really is nothing better than coming home.