Wednesday, June 13, 2007

maternal olympics

i wish i was posting about what an amazing husband i have, how he pulled off a fabulous and touching surprise for my birthday with the help of so many of you. or, about the episode on vacation that had us within close proximity of an ambulance twice. thats right. or, what happened that was funny the other day, but i am so far behind on my thoughts and subsequent blog postings (blame it on very remote locations like estes park and being locked in dial up hell at my parents house) that whatever the case i know that if i dont keep my thoughts in order of when they occurred, i will never get them all out. which might be perfectly fine for you, but is keeping me awake at night. im several weeks behind and will be playing catch up for awhile so bear with me patiently if you can.

this one happened a few weeks ago when i was dining out at a great italian restaraunt in town, boticellis, with 3 great friends as a final evening out before the big heong bye bynida. 3 of the 4 of us have kiddos. one is expecting her second baby and the 4th friend does not have any babies of her own yet, but is a certified nurse practitioner for kids and does an amazing job of balancing the fun friend mode and the professional reassuring 'georgia is perfectly fine and suffering from what is known as a cold' mode.

anyway, during this dinner i was reminded of the time in my life that lasted about 5 years when i was married without children. over the course of those years, i attended countless baby showers, coffees, dinners, girls nights out, come to my house and buy this crap from a catolog so i can get free stuff parties...you name it, ive been there. with countless mommies, i might add. what i remember about these times was a lot of women having a little too much wine and enjoying their 'break' from their responsibilities at home. hello, fair enough. i am that mommy now and do certainly enjoy my 'me' time. however, while the location, company and event may have changed the one thing that was always the same was the certainty of one conversation coming up. i like to call it the 'maternal olympics' conversation. you know, where women share the stories of whose pregnancy, labor, delivery and subsequent recovery was the worst. it consisted of different categories, each falling into the summer or winter olympics depending on what season the most rigorous part of their said suffering occurred and let me tell you, all women were going for the gold.

i sat through countless stories of hemorroids only to be one upped by the first poop (which trust me, i know this is waayy too much information that i will regret sharing later, but i prayed through mine and asked a few other trusted loved ones to join me). of course there was the epidurals that didnt take, the pitocin that sent them over the edge, the stretch marks, gas, reflux, sleepless nights, saggy boobs and occasional c-section after weeks of labor too. ah yes, it was so fun to listen to. i could hardly wait to get pregnant and vowed to never ever go for the gold in the presence of those without children. i just wouldnt put them through the mental pictures of way too much personal information graciously shared by those having gone through it.

so you can imagine my horror when replaying the conversation of the dinner out with my 3 friends (remember 1 without babies) enjoying my 'me' time with a little too much wine and remembering the next day that the maternal olympics were in full effect that night. ugh. i didnt win the gold and im ashamed i even let it happen. im hoping my sincerest apology will make it up to my friend and in case you were wondering (which im fairly certain youre not), having a baby is the single greatest joy i have ever known and even if i had every symptom and difficult experience under the sun, even if i could take the gold in every event, i would happily and graciously do it again. there is no greater love and i am eternally grateful and honored to be experiencing the privilege of motherhood. no more maternal olympics for me. ive got the gold, but its more of a peach.

4 comments:

Rayna Mercer said...

Katie--you crack me up! I had a blast that night, as well--the stories were funny--being the only sober one there (only cause the "little one" requires me to be), I can assure you the conversation was well within the bounds of the norm--after all, it was a 30th Birthday celebration for 2 gals, and we were all venting as we're hitting the "downhill side of life"...I had a great time! Enjoy your relaxation! Rayna

Anonymous said...

You are so funny, but I think we've all been guilty of atleast making attempts for the gold once or twice. More in some cases. And about the poop story, I hope you meant that you asked them to join you in prayer and not in the bathroom. ;) hehehe. Hope everything is going great, and tell Pat that I found the clip to your phone. It was on the bar, not in the trash. I would be more than happy to stick it in the mail.

katie said...

hey megan,
no worries on the clip...how ridiculous do people look with those on anyway? i got your message and then had no coverage for a week in colorado. will be in better touch with you and everyone else as soon as pat flies out which is tomorrow. hugs.

LANCE'S HUMAN said...

Is it bad that the only thing I can think about as I go to leave this comment is Botticelli's pollo picatta and I have to mention it in some shape or fashion? There. I did. Yum. Annnd this one also made me laugh as I have often been the "no two legged babies yet" friend listening in awe (as we are still waiting for God and the Air Force to decide when procreating is right for us). Hilarious!