good grief

ive been thinking of that little phrase a lot lately and wondering how it started and what moron thought any grief was good. surely not someone who was caught in the midst of it, or left crawling out from its heavy undertow. as i have watched my best friend lose her first baby and father in a matter of short weeks, i am at a loss for words to console or to comfort. i want nothing more than to ease the pain, loosen the grip of the grief and reassure her that her Father in heaven is weeping with her and holding her close. i want to make sense of this elusive thing that is difficult to understand and yet has no trouble finding us. it is at these moments as with so many others, i am reminded of a faith that is steadfast and reassuring. not because i think i am a weak person as bill maher would have you believe, but because i know i am weak. not because i think i am lost without it, but because i need to look no further than the lost to see that i, too, was lost before i found it. and certainly not because ive been spoon fed my faith my entire life and have yet to really discover why i believe what i believe. rather, my faith is real and it is personal. not just to me and for me in a world absent of absolute truths, but for you and anyone else willing to accept it. so this brings me back from a tangent and to what ive been thinking about, when is grief good? and how did that dumb phrase begin? i wont take the time to trace the history of it, i took a nightmarish class in college for my english degree called "history of the english language". i called it hell for short and after tracing back countless words into the dark ages, i am done. however, i am intrigued by the notion of 'good grief'. i know that He promises that "all things work for the good of those who love Him" and by all things, i am fairly certain He knew what that would entail. we have that divine promise that even when we are in the haze of darkness and in the midst of unspeakable sadness, good is taking place. and not just random 'good', but good that is orchestrated by the Creator of the universe as He faithfully fulfills His promise to us is happening amid the pain. there are times when you wouldnt recognize the touch of God Himself if you werent in complete and desperate need of it. there are times when the only way to be on your knees in prayer is when the weight of your burdens robs you of the strength to stand. how often are we allowed to struggle and endure only to experience His compassion, grace, comfort, presence and peace throughout it? how many times have we come through the fire and been closer to Him than we were on the other side? i would not choose grief for myself or for anyone, but i do take my Father at His word when He says that "all things" work for good. and while this is of little comfort to most when we are being held captive by the pain and lacking the will and the strength to hold on, we can know that not just even then, but especially then He is meeting us where we are at and wrapping us in His arms with a comfort and a peace that is unlike any other. and to my best friend, hang on and know that you are cherished, loved and closer to your Father than you may feel.